When I was invited by writer, humorist, and delusionist Amy Vansant to contribute an essay to an anthology called Moms Are Nuts! I was thrilled. Which of my most epic mothering fails should I use? That time I entertained the girls by reenacting a run-in with a wild turkey and got the dog to reenact his role in the drama? That time I took my infant daughter to a homeless encampment that I thought was a Halloween festival? That time I insisted to my daughter that the chorus to the Lorde song was, “The coal house in, the coal house in, the coal house in,” and she explained that no, it’s “Send the call out, send the call out, send the call out”? SO much material.
Then Amy explained that no, this is not for stories about ourselves as moms. It’s about moms we have known. Now, my mom is a lovely lady, and I didn’t feel right throwing her overboard alone. So I strapped myself to her and wrote something that indicts both of us. It’s about how you say you’ll never turn into your mother, then you actually outdo her at her own game. And it includes a reference to the board game “Blizzard of ‘77” which, if you didn’t grow up in Rochester, you may not know. I feel sorry for you.
There is, as we say in Oakland, hella comic firepower in Moms are Nuts. My little piece is between the covers with work from Emmy winners, magazine editors, comedians, TV personalities, bestselling authors, and a Fanilow. You’ll recognize a few names from the Still in Rotation series here, like Wendi Aarons and Lisa Page Rosenberg, and the cover was designed by the next S.I. R guest poster, Mary Laura Philpott. (Check out the bloopers from the cover shoot. Philpott is the best kind of weird.) To be included in this book is kind of intimidating, especially since the cover blurb is from none other than Laraine Newman, yes THAT Laraine Newman, who had this to say about Moms Are Nuts:
“These essays are so good and so funny, it makes me mad that I didn’t know a lot of these writers. Wait…that’s the kind of backhanded compliment you’d get from an obnoxious mom! Curses!”
I’m so excited and proud to be part of this collection and I hope you’ll check it out, on paper, on an eReader, in an interpretive dance format (we’re still working on that.) Since no one in the world buys a book unless it’s recommended to them anymore, we’d sure appreciate your help in spreading the word, posting your reviews to Amazon and Goodreads, all that jazz. This would make a perfect Mother’s Day present for anyone whose mother has ever said to them, “You look washed out. Put on some more lipstick.” Not that I’m speaking from experience.
And to make it up to my mom, I’m posting the song that she had cranked in her car CD player last weekend when I went for a visit. Because she loves her a cowboy.